The Subtle Escape [10.21.08]

Today was a gift straight from Heaven, for today was the day of the food test drive. In preparation for the coming school year, several catering companies had wheeled in thousands of bite-size samples for the students' tasting delight. Perhaps the best part of the entire event is the fact that it is completely free. Regardless, my 'muters and I wasted no time pouncing on the opportunity of receiving free food. We marched right up those Mund stairs and headed into the West Dining Hall with our heads held high. Upon arrival, we realized that we beat the crowd, and we could not help slapping ourselves on the back. After a quick survey of the entire hall, we picked a strategy and stuck with it: start slow and taper off. The new twenty minutes were spent working our way around the entire border of the cafeteria, grabbing this, pointing at that, and hoarding whatever we could. One must understand that when it comes to 'muters, free food is always a very serious opportunity. We are never sure when we will receive our next meal, so each new one is treated like the last supper. Since we're 'muters, we don't carry much cash on us, and we only pack enough food to get by. But a food fair is the ultimate opportunity to store up food for the future. This may seem like a squirrel-esque tactic, but it always works for us. The more food we get for free, the less we have to buy. It's such a simple equation that I wonder why no one else has caught on. With that said, our table quickly filled with a pile of pre-packaged food; sliced apples, several bottles of Vitamin Water, and even a salad kit. By now, we were surrounded by residents, who have started to notice our distinct behavior. We collectively decided to hit the road - as quietly as possible. Unfortunately, we also wanted to subtly depart with our stash...which turned out to be impossible. Still sitting, we proceeded to stuff the tiny products into our pockets, while the bigger things needed to be stacked and carried. In the next moment or two, the 'muter unit slowly stood up and escaped the dining hall as an organized, but completely recognizable train.