R.I.P.

Unless you've been living under a rock, you would have heard the news. The king of pop is dead. But wait...so is Farrah Fawcett...and that Billy Mays, whose voice always seemed to scream from the infomercials. Then there's Ed McMahon, who was almost summoning death at 86. And what about that funny impersonater guy, Fred Travalena? He kicked the can too. It seems to me that these past couple days have been filled with an overwhelming amount of deaths. I can't remember hearing about anything so peculiar - all of these deaths being reported as quickly as dominoes plink onto the dining room table. With the Charlie's Angels being shorted a third, and the king of pop having to cancel his London tour - it's almost too much grief to bear. I mean how will we ever live without the rhinestone glove or Oxi-Clean? Who is going to say "Herrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeee's Johnny"? And who will we have to give us impossible standards of the 70's blowout? I mean, we might as well just call it a day and stop living right now ;)

Food for Thought [1.9.09]

Today I came home to find a card on my bed. A good friend gave it to me, and I was surprised at how great it made me feel. It's not like I thought any different of that friend before the card, so why feel so different after? What gives? Was it the thought that counted? And if it was, what thought was the specific one that counted? The thought of simply sending someone a card? The thought of specifically picking me to send it to? Maybe it was a combination of all of that. Whatever it was, it was powerful because it was thoughtful. I never realized how much that kind of stuff meant: to go out into the world and do something small that means something big.

Love Hurts [11.26.08]

Today I went with my dad to pick up some of our family members at the Harrisburg airport. My dad is one of those people who cannot be late to anything, so we showed up at the terminal approximately fifty minutes earlier than their scheduled arrival. I was in no mood to be bored out of my mind, so I proceeded to search the web on my laptop. However, my dad had different plans for the two of us, and we proceeded toward the escalators. We went up, then down, then up, then...you guessed it...down. The third time up, my dad started taking steps down the escalators. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply responded with a chuckle, "It makes the ride longer." What I did not know was that the rest of our night would be spent bonding in the way that only we can bond. After picking everyone up and driving them home, we came home and turned on the television. He flipped to TCM (Turner Classic Movies) where we watched two black and white movies together. During the intermissions we would joke back and forth with each other. He would brag about how the sixties were the best decade to grow up in, and then he would say "Oh, that's right, you weren't around in '61. You wouldn't know." Of course I would fire back "That's alright, dad. If I were around in '61, I'd be OLD." Then we would laugh. I never realized it, but I have the same sense of humor as my father. In all honesty, I would not trade it for anything, especially because it's a good sense of humor.

Keep Your Taps to Yourself! [11.24.08]

Today's happening occurred at a high-traffic location - the Mund college center entrance. My friend and I were walking toward the college center when we wound up behind a line of athletes. Everything was well and good, until the first athlete approached the door. He held the door open for his comrades, and as each of them walked through it, he gave them that mannish athletic tap on the tush. Everyone should know what I am talking about - the bum love tap that football players receive after great plays. Anyway, my friend and I saw this happening and it did not really register until we arrived at the doorway. There the athlete stood, still in the love-tap mode, while my friend and I were in no mood to be love-tapped. Thankfully, our eyes met, he awkwardly changed gears, and we all breathed a sigh of relief.

I'm Just Saying...[11.23.08]

Every so often, one comes across some quirky exception to the English language. Today's happened to be the quote "I'm just saying..." said by numerous people in countless contexts. One could say "I'm just saying" immediately following an awkward comment they should never have said. For example: "They should just go out on a date already because they flirt way too much...[awkward pause as they enter the room]

...I'm just saying."

One could also say "I'm just saying" following a third-party comment that offends someone in the room. For example: "I think you're the one that should be apologizing...[glare from accused]

...I'm just saying."

One could even say "I'm just saying" immediately after a well-known piece of information was recently stated. For example: "I think things are definitely going to change now that Obama was elected President...["duhh" look from everyone in room]

...I'm just saying."

On its own, the line "I'm just saying" is funny enough, but when someone uses the line for all three aforementioned examples - in one hour - it is a whole different level of funny.

The Power of the Purse [11.22.08]

Today's occurrence happened on my way to the movies. My friends and I were on our way to see the new Bond film, and I could not help but want to stick it to the metaphorical man - again. So I asked if we could make a quick stop at Wal-Mart for me to load up on the candies that they sell at the movies, but buy them for half the price. Since all of the people that were with me were guys, they had no idea of the power of the purse. I could easily take recently-bought candy from Wal-Mart and smuggle it into the theater without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Besides, what kind of monopoly do they think they're running when Wal-Mart is two minutes away?

Flushing and Blushing [11.20.08]

Today, my friends and I took a road trip to Elizabethtown college to visit some old friends for a praise and worship session. Before the session began, my friends and I decided to explore the chapel. As faithful as I am to LVC, the Elizabethtown chapel was stunning compared to Miller Chapel. It had a chandelier and several beautiful staircases. Walking by the bathrooms, my friends and I stopped our exploration in the middle in order to answer nature's call. While in the bathroom, my friends and I did what we always do - talk. We exited the bathroom and met our guy friend who was waiting for us in the lobby. For some reason, he could not stop laughing. We asked him why, and he told us that the bathrooms are way less forgiving than those back at LVC. "I could hear everything you said - especially YOU miss," as he pointed to me. Then he added, "Oh, by the way, I am sorry to hear that it is your time of the month."

LVC's Cookie Monster [11.18.08]

Today's occurrence happened in the middle of a club meeting. We were on our third order of business, future events. My friend announced that she had finally got around to making the cookies that were going to be used during caroling. She said that there were seventy-five to a hundred cookies for the event, so that should be enough. We all thanked her and moved onto our next order of business. Before we could actually move on, my friend raised her hand and said that actually ate one of the cookies. I called on the secretary and told her to change the running minutes: "Instead of having seventy-five to a hundred cookies, we now only have seventy-four to ninety-nine". I started laughing, while the cookie monster could not be more embarrassed.

The King of Kraft [11.17.08]

Down in the commuter lounge, my friends and I spend all day discussing large, important issues. In the style of Seinfeld and friends, today's great debate centered around Kraft's Mac N' Cheese. Anyone that knows Kraft's Mac N' Cheese knows that it is a delicate combination of water, softened noodles, and cheese powder. The 'muter who was lucky enough to consume the mac n' cheese forgot his utensils at home and he managed to scrounge both a spoon and a fork. I wasted no time in urging him to facilitate the spoon, for the fork would obviously miss one of the most crucial aspects of Kraft's Mac N' Cheese: the soupy cheese sauce. Others overheard our debacle and soon joined in. Eventually, the room was split into two sides: those who supported forks and those who trusted spoons. The deciding vote was the Kraft's Mac N' Cheese owner himself. Upon consumption, it was clear to everyone that the spoon was the right way to go. In no time at all, the Kraft's Mac N' Cheese was gone, even the soupy cheese sauce.

"In This Corner..."[11.17.08]

As wonderful as technology has proved itself to be, it is also accompanied with several quirks. One of them is the simple "halt", where a piece of machinery just refuses to continue operation. Another popular quirk of technology is that of "confusion"; the machinery reacts in every sort of way, except the way it is supposed to function. My friend found this out the hard way, when her printer decided to go haywire when it was simply asked to print out her assignment. In turn, humans can react to machines in several different ways. One can shut off the machine and simply try again later, or one can attempt to scare the machine into working. As one would imagine, the second option requires varying amounts of physical interactions. Thankfully, my friend chose the second strategy, and proceeded to lightly but steadily punch the printer into behaving. Sadly enough, her attempts yielded no assignments, just a paper-eating printer.

Something Old, Something New [11.15.08]

Today I helped out at a local nursing home to help raise the community service hours for one of my clubs. I honestly could not wait to go because I simply have a fascination for old people. I love to watch them hobble from here to there and hear them talk the way they do; perhaps in preparation for what I will become. Regardless, my hours were spent playing Scrabble with Martha and Florence, who just so happened to be worthy competitors. After they whooped me, I watched as another old lady entered the common area. My eyes did a double-take as I spotted her hearing aid dangling on her necklace. She eventually sat down on a couch and proceeded to look for her hearing aid. I was not taking too much notice, but she had even called on a nurse to help her locate the hearing device that was MIA. I excused myself from Martha and Florence and pointed out the old woman's hearing aid to the nurse. The nurse nodded in recognition and helped the old woman reinsert it. The old woman took the nurse's hand and sweetly said "Bless you my child!", to which the nurse said "You're welcome, but this nice girl actually saw your hearing aid." The old woman proceeded to thank me in the exact same way, and I could not help but hope that that would be me in sixty years.

Sal Minella's Soul Mate [11.13.08]

Today I was feeling rebellious. I felt like it was time for me to splurge. So for lunch, I ordered chicken fingers instead of my regular spinach wrap with ham, cheese, and lettuce. Since I usually never deviate from my normal routine, I did not know where to go from there. I knew that I wanted chicken fingers, but what would be the best partner? Ketchup? Ranch dressing? I was completely lost. My friend suggested the honey mustard, and I was intrigued. I have never had honey mustard dressing. A new lunch and a new dip? Would that be too much splurging? Is there even such a thing as "too much splurging"? What if I try the honey mustard and dislike it? What if I try the honey mustard and become completely obsessed? Is that even possible? All of these questions swirled in my head for what seemed like years, until I was brought back to reality with the yelling UG ladies: "Order up! Chicken fingers!" I expelled all of those silly questions from my head and boldly grabbed the honey mustard. Moments later, I ate honey mustard for the first time ever. That was truly the beginning of a beautiful friendship.