"You can't miss it."

"Whoever he is, I'm going to find that guy and rip his FACE off!"

That was my friend's go-to line as we were on our way to the theater. Admittedly, we were given lousy directions, and yes, we should've left earlier, but the fact of the matter is that we didn't. So there we were, my two guy friends and I on our way to see Avatar. We left 45 minutes ago, assuming we would have more than enough time. However, when you're looking for an invisible destination, things can get pretty ugly.

We were sandwiched between I-81 and 39, and the voice on the other end of the line kept repeating "Kogg-nee Roadddd - Kogg-nee Roadddd". That's what you get for trusting automated operators. So we kept our eyes peeled and our fingers crossed - and yet no road seemed to be the right one. My friend's next move was to call the theater - they said the cinema was right off of Progress Avenue - and I quote: "You can't miss it." So there we were, running out of options and running late, looking for this "Kogg-nee Roadddd".

I couldn't help but laugh - the entire situation was absolutely ridiculous. My one friend kept repeating "Kogg-nee Roadddd" in his Target-lady-from-SNL voice while my other friend promised to rearrange whoever's face was responsible.

Seven U-turns and a phone call to my friend's brother (A.K.A. the Obi Wan of navigating) later, we arrived at the theater. Sprinting inside, we paid and entered theater 7. We didn't know what was on the other side of the door. Hopefully the movie hadn't started already; I've heard once you miss the beginning of a movie, there's no hope. But in the cosmic humor that is God's, we found ourselves joining the others right as the previews were coming to a close. We eased into those plush stadium seats, put on our obnoxious Cyndi Lauper-esque 3D glasses, and enjoyed what was waiting for us at the end of our unprecedented goose chase.

The movie was alright (no offense to those Na'vi cult followers), but I wondered something throughout the entire movie. Clearly, the directions from the popcorn guy were wrong...so was he the reason that there were only seven others who joined us for the movie? What happened to being qualified? No, actually, what happened to simply being aware of your surroundings? And why didn't I bring my GPS?